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I am the client in these situations, and we are an industry that requires people to travel. This also means you need to set realistic deadlines or at least be on the same page with them because if you call everything an emergency, it becomes a little boy-who-cried-wolf.

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Here, in a big but not NYC market, I just have to work really hard to be mediocre, get by, and have no real success or real prospects for much more. To whom are you doing this proving? What are you getting in return for it? If you hate your job enough to even ask this incredibly loaded and snobby question, quit and get a different one.

I worked with smart people and with dolts of all educational backgrounds and from all sorts of places. Your T14 degree may get you hired in a smaller city but once hired, no one cares. Then it becomes about business generation etc.

Not impossible in certain places, but harder than in places like NYC or DC where practically everyone is a transplant and no one is asking — oh did your family own the zyc property up the street, I think I went to high school with your uncle is he so-and-so? Offhand the cities I can think of: I am a big fish in a small pond not law, though and I love it. The work is the same as I would be doing somewhere else, there are just fewer people here to compete with.

I am from Texas and went to law school in Austin. The Austin legal market is very, very small. The legal market in Dallas is larger than Austin, but by no means big.

A good indicator of the size of the legal market is the number of summer associates hired. For example, VE Houston takes around 50 summers each year.

The local coffee shop I have in mind as a venue already hosts poetry slams on a monthly basis, and I think that they might be open to hosting something of this nature if I asked. Has anyone here attended a science cafe before? Super well-attended and the profs love participating. I was going to suggest a brewery! On weeknights, the breweries in my neighborhood are very open to trying cool new things.

Maybe a coffee shop or bookstore would be a more neutral ground. I have attended one Chicago and it was awesome! There were two speakers who each spoke for about 15 minutes. The organizer was a former Northwestern grad student who, I think, relied a lot on her connections to bring in speakers. I imagine it would be tough for a non-scientist to organize something like that though not impossible.

I think you need to broaden your search for scientists beyond faculty. Post-docs and more senior grad students would probably be into it too as would community college professors. If your local school has any science education faculty they might be up for collaborating on such a venture and they would know a lot of people.

The people who run science cafes in other cities probably can point you to good resources on answering your questions. I do not live in a university town and I am not aware of any science cafes and this makes me sad! Off to see if we have anything similar. I participated in something like this in college. I was the only undergrad but it was open to everyone. I participated because I was considering graduate school but ultimately went to law school. It was really cool.

I think the trick is to pick cool popular topics within science and pick dynamic interesting speakers. I think the one I went to was on how bacteria can influence behaviour something like that. It was jam packed when I went. Other cool topics that I can imagine — what are black holes?

But this needs a clever title. I wrote a long response with topic ideas that must be in moderation… but my overall point was that yes I have been to these and they were super successful again it was a bar setting but you have to have topics that appeal to the general public and speakers that are experienced and dynamic.

The last thing you want is for people to feel like they are attending a physics lecture. For example, I went to an amazing and super well-attended cafe on how bacteria influence behaviour. I bet if you asked some undergrads and grad students who the most popular speakers in the department are and who the best teachers are, and then audit a lecture of two, you could get a great sense of who would be a good speaker.

My story is that I need to stay in my law firm position for a few years to pay down debt, but I really want to leave to become a drug and alcohol counselor after fighting and winning my own battle with addiction and getting sober. I still have to take my sobriety day by day, obviously.

Maybe I am answering my own question—I need to take the career transition process day by day, I guess. Good for you, btw. Social work is rewarding but it can also be physically and emotionally exhausting. Stay busy with volunteering, taking one class per semester, and maintaining your sobriety.

Do the minimum amount of work to keep your job. Get serious about the debt: Get a second job. Cut expenses to the bone. I agree with the volunteering idea. Try it as a regular, committed volunteer for a while. I mean, I hear you. Everyone has these ideas but if you are serious you need to take baby steps.

She became an ice cream entrepreneur. It hit all the right escapism notes for me and might help you feel swept away! The only pleasure reading I do is this genre: Because moving abroad and leaving my job and eating and drinking seems very nice. In order of where they are listed in my Amazon order list I have a few more that were non-amazoned:.

The Elements of Cooking: Alone in the Kitchen with an Eggplant: I think you can volunteer and network at the same time. I suspect there are plenty of organizations that could really use some help from a lawyer — everything from helping secure non-profit status to filing trademarks to real estate to liability waivers etc. Thoughts on working from home? This is a bit of a dream scenario in terms of work-life balance as I have an 8 and 11 year old who are in tons of activities, but I worry about my sanity.

Anything I should be considering as I work out the details with my boss? I think this could happen as soon as a month or two from now. I work from home and love it. I cram my hours in Monday to Thursday and then work overtime as needed or desired on the 3-day weekends.

Having a separate space dedicated to work and not working from the couch is a critical boundary for me. The pocket doors separating my work space from the rest of the house also help tremendously. It really is wonderful. I stay in touch, though admittedly not as much as when I worked in the Office in person, using virtual tools with several work friends. My work life balance has improved drastically because I am either focusing on accomplishing something at work or checked out to go do something else.

I pitched the case to my boss and he was totally on board. Things that have made it a smooth transition: To add — I also travel regularly minimum of one trip per month of days per trip, sometimes two per month. So i get regular face time with coworkers at the mothership as well as other offices. Most people live it, but most of the time I hate it. Make sure you have a dedicated workspace. I also frequently go to the public library to work, just to get out of the house and be around other people.

Think about what equipment you might need. I have a friend who got her company to give her a large screen monitor and a printer. This is prob very company dependent though. See if your company has an established telework policy and review it before the mtg with your boss so you can address anything you have questions about.

I found it nice once in a while, but after about four days working from home I really hated myself. I also really disliked being the one person on the phone. Conference rooms have side conversations, significant looks, written notes, visual jokes, all the stuff I was missing out on by being on the phone.

It made me feel awful. Part of the beauty of working from home is being able to do what you want even when on a call — just make sure to us the mute button! If your meetings are all in person normally, that could be tough. Even when I was in an office a face-to-face meeting was rare worked for a big corp, meetings always had people from many locations , I was just on the phone anyway but in an office.

I have been working from my house from about 2 years. I am somewhere between a biglaw mid level and senior associate. I absolutely love working from home, and prefer it to going to the office. It saves so much time getting ready, commuting , so I have more time to spend with my family and on my hobbies. I end up traveling about once a month, either to one of our offices or otherwise for work. Just wanted to give an update and thanks to all the women who supported me back in June when I confessed I was falling for a dear friend and asked for advice on coming out in your 30s!

My girlfriend and I are long-distance, but managed to meet up this past weekend and… it was amazing. And probably do some conversational roleplay or even scripting first…. Thank you again for your advice and support. This community has been a tremendous strength to me both professionally and personally… and in matters of fashion, too. Thanks for sharing some wonderful news at the end of an awful week! I just married got married to my girlfriend earlier this year and my very conservative work place threw me a shower.

Love our couch, but we recently moved and as it was briefly sitting directly under the hanging light fixture in the dining room, every single mark on it was magnified. Wondering if I should just do that again or reupholster. I like the size and shape of it a lot. Is it worth it to reupholster an older couch? Are you committed to the light fixture placement and brightness? If you LOVE the couch, give it a full overhaul now rather than reupholstering only for the springs to go.

When I married DH, he had a couch that had good bones but was hideous. It was the color of dead olives. But it was so comfy! He had had it for close to ten years, so I suggested it was time for a new couch. This was not well-received. Because throwing it out and staying married was not an option, I had it recovered. It actually looks really great now. The main problem is you could buy a new couch for what it takes to recover the old couch. Then spend the money and commit to the couch for that time even if it gets saggy.

If the couch was free, you could consider that you are paying for some of its past use as well as increasing its life span. I was just talking to a neighbor about this. She was in a similar situation and recovered her couch. It lasted another 8 years and now the springs are shot and she has to find a new one. She was so happy with her decision to recover. Couches are expensive and hard to find! There are amazing, tight fit couch covers on the market nowadays not like the drapery fit of yesteryear.

Down-wrapped seat cushions make a world of difference in comfort. I was thinking of using an invite only Reddit page for a platform, but I am open to suggestions on other platforms. Reddit is fairly easy to use. I just created the sub. Once you create you account, you can request to join. Here is a link: While I understand that this can be off-putting to some, I really struggle with the idea that I should not be direct when I have an opinion on a relevant, work-related issue.

I get tired of the implication that I should be expressing my opinions in round about ways or risk being classified as a B. How have you effectively managed your Type-A personalities? Do I just need a thicker skin when I get that type of feedback? Is this just the price to pay for being a driven woman?

You should absolutely be direct. And women are held to unnecessary levels of niceness. I need this report on my desk at five. The difference is the focus on the person. I was fortunate to have a fantastic mentor who coached me on how to be politely direct. I think he was able to help me because he also struggled in this area.

You just need some fluff around the edges. Here are some rules I have for myself: This shows that you respect people under normal circumstances to respond promptly when they can and are acting professionally but this time, it has a specific deadline. This also means you need to set realistic deadlines or at least be on the same page with them because if you call everything an emergency, it becomes a little boy-who-cried-wolf.

Can you let me know where we are on this? Let me know if we need to discuss over a quick phone chat! Very easy to do. You know you have the substantive skills to do your job, now you need to work on the emotional intelligence. You can either rail against the machine or accept the feedback and act on it. You are rubbing people the wrong way, and it is rising to the level that they are telling you about in a performance review.

Cultivate relationships with your colleagues. Ask people if they want to have lunch. Bring in doughnuts every once in a while.

And before somebody jumps on me…our male GC does this from time to time, so this is not gender specific advice I know brilliant people who never got ahead because they just could not master interpersonal skills.

But the truth is, she comes off like a jerk. She takes charge and get things done great! What, no, thicker skin is not the answer. Yes, there is likely some aspect of se x i sm there. There is probably also some truth. I have been called direct, aggressive and intimidating, but never as a negative in a performance review. I definitely agree with AKB that this is good news: How does your firm use its law librarian? A partner asked the librarian to provide citations to support his assertions in a document and for me to proof her work.

Yeah at my firm a partner would task a junior associate to find substantive support for arguments. The librarian would be used more for — do we have any secondary sources that broadly cover x topic in antitrust law, if yes pls send to my associate and associate — find me the citations. She was great as an investigative sleuth and also finding original docs like, some MOU on some permitting rule from in Florida , and support for arguments. I use our librarian for things like researching legislative history.

I would never ask her to work on something particularly time sensitive. That was my sense. I would ask some other associates in your office. Our librarians are JDs, though, which helps a lot, and the one I use the most has been here for years and understands our specialized field of law.

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